Completely Useless Gifts chords and lyrics - GREG CHAMPION & COLIN BUCHANAN

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[Intro 1]
[D][Bm][Bsus4][Bm][D][Bm][F#][F#aug][Bm][G][D]

[Verse 1]
Should [D]old
relations [A]give you a bowl [D]gift at
Christmas [G]time?
Just [D]pop them in the [A]shed till [Bbdim]you
all [Bm]float them [G]down the [D]line.
Should you get massage [A]cushions
Fragrant [D]candles or foot [G]spas
Soap [D]on a rope or [A]lavender
[Bbdim]Scented c[Bm]rystals f[G]or the b[D]ath
Completely useless [A]gifts, my friend
We [D]get them all the [G]time
Just [D]whack them in the [A]cupboard
[Bbdim]and offload [Bm]them down [G]the line[D]
It's turn again
Should you receive pros[A]thetic limbs
or ac[D]rylic lace doil[G]ies?
Drink [D]coaster salt and [A]pepper
[Bbdim]shakers or p[Bm]lastic f[G]igurines?
[D]That's what it's called, my turn
Should you receive tea, [A]towel, some poop,
[D]potty, or kitchen[G]ware?
Should [D]someone give you [A]an [Bbdim]elec
tronic [Bm]re mover of[G] h[D]air?
Completely useless [A]gifts, my friend,
we [D]get them all the [G]time.
Just [D]whack them in the [A]cupboard [Bbdim]and
off[Bm]load them [G]down the [D]line
Offload them down the [A]line, my friend,
off[D]load them down the [G]line
Tilt [D]to the upshot, [A]there can [Bbdim]sign off,
[Bm]load them [G]down the [D]line.