Dave & Al chords and lyrics - FRANK ZAPPA

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[Verse 1]
[Em]Alright, hey, hey listen
Before we go on to the next song
I got a really important piece of business
I've gotta take care of
Now, there's this guy
That uh, works [B]for us, he sells the T- [Em]shirts
His name is Dav[B]id [Em]Dikowitz

[Verse 2]
Now, some of you might [Em]know Dav[B]id
An[Em]d if you know him
You realize that David [B]is
a [Em]lonely guy
[A]He hasn't [Em]been pooched in three days
His nec[B]tar [Em]has built up, so to speak
And he asked me
If I could help him get a girl tonight

[Verse 3]
[Em]Now, normally I don't do this because
[B]I mean, of course being
a pimp [Em]is my hobby
[D]But [Em]in Dikowitz's case
This is taking it above and
beyond the call of duty
As they say in the trade

[Verse 4]
So here, here's [Em]the [Bm]plan
[Em]Somewhere out there, I know
Somewhere in this building there is a girl
Or a female type object
Who desires the compan[A]ionship [Em]of a nice,
Jewish boy
Who [Bm]sell[Em]s T- shirts
Now, I'm gonna make you
a two for one offer
Here's the deal

[Verse 5]
If you're [Em]a girl and you wanna
And you wanna submit [Bm]to
[B]Dik[Em]owitz's advances
If you'll go for Dikowitz
And you got a friend or sister
That would like to spend some
time with Al Malcon

[Verse 6]
Who's an [Em]a, who's another
[B]Dangerous[Em]ly lonely guy[Bm]
Had a little prob[B]lem here the [Em]other night
I understand, I don't like to be
spreading [Bm]gossip around
But [Em]this is New York

[Verse 7]
[Em]Al is a [B]very lonely pe[Bm]rson
[Em]And he came here to the
show the other night
With his girlfriend
He [C]introduced me to [G]her in the [D]back
She was [Em]a very

[Verse 8]
nice [B]person
They went [D]and they sat in the
audience to [Em]see the show
She says, [D]excuse me for a minute
I'm go get, gon[Em]na go get a drink
She [D]disappeared, [Em]didn't come back
Until five o'c[D]lock in the morning
[Em]Told she was drunk said:

[Verse 9]
"Al, [Em]I hate you"
In an exorcist [Bm]voice[Em]
And told him to move out
Now, we got these two
[D]Very nice [Em]people who need it
[G]Now[Em], as a matter of fact

[Verse 10]
Can we get a spotlight down here?
[D]Just so you see wha[Em]t
the merchandise is like
This is [B]David Dikowitz, right [Em]here[A]
[Em]Now, [D]obviously, he is [Em]nice
He is Jewish and he is a boy, right?
[A]So,[Em]

[Verse 11]
you see what you're in for
If you want, if you wanna
do it with [Bm]David
[Em]Just come down and introduce yourself
[G]There, alright, see?
[Em]What did I tell you?

[Verse 12]
[Em]
Congratulations,
[Bm]what[Em]'s your name?
[Bm]Karen
[Em]Karen?
I now pro[Bm]nounce you, David [Em]an d Karen
Off [B]that way
[G#][B][Em][D][A][Em]

[Verse 13]
[A][Em]
[G]Alright[Em]
Now, that's what I like about New York
You get [G]results
[D]Ah,[Em] now where's Malcon?
If we can do [Bm]the same [Em]thing
for Malcon
We'll really be doing it

[Verse 14]
Where is he?
[Em]
Maybe we'll find him later
Okay but where?

[Interlude 1]
Al, come here
[Em][B][Em]
[Bm][Em]

[Verse 15]
[Em]Ladies and gentlemen
This is my friend, Al Malcon
He's also a very nice person
Would you like to give a
sales pitch yourself?

[Verse 16]
Well, I'll [Em]tell ya
I don't know if there's
anybody really cute
You [D]know, [Em]and I stay away from
You know, young girls
Anybody about 18 or close, you [G]know
[Bm]Blonde hair
[Em][F#m][D]

[Verse 17]
[A]He wants a [Em]virgin with nice breath
Yeah, [Bm]vir [Em]gin would be
nice [G]but
[Em]Right there, you (almost there)
A volunteer right there
[G]Where?
No, no, oh, she's [Em]go ing
No, no, don't touch me
No, get away, no

[Verse 18]
Well, [Em]listen
[G]What?
[Em]Right here
What's your name?
Lisa
Lisa, this [Em]is Al

[Interlude 2]
[Em][Bm][Em]

[Verse 19]
It's [Em]happening to me
(It's happening)
It's happening to you
She has no idea what's going to
be happening to her
Well, who does any[B]more
It's the [Em]20th century

[Verse 20]
Wait here [Em]This
girl [Bm]loves you
[Em]Chris, tell him to come over here
Tell him to come over here?
C'mere

[Verse 21]
What's your name? [Em]Chris
Well, let the audience see you,
c'mon

[Verse 22]
Oh my god
[Em]
Now, isn't this [B]better than com
[Em]puter [Bm]dating?
[Em]Why don't you guys go [Em]over there
and get acquainted?
Okay, on with the show