Divan: Once Upon A Time chords and lyrics - FRANK ZAPPA, THE MOTHERS

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[Intro 1]
[C][G][F][G][C][G]
[Gm][G][F][G][C]

[Verse 1]
Once upon [G]a time,
[F]way back [G]a long t[C]ime ago
When the universe [G]consisted of nothing
more elaborate than [C]Mark Bolman
Uh- huh, thank you Frank
[G]And don't mispell it, that's not [C]Marc [G]Bolan,
[C]that's Mark Volman
Hi, you friends, I [G]wanna welcome
each and everyone of you
I wanna [Fm]say to [G]you tonight I [C]feel great
I mean, I feel [G]great
Every[F]where I go [G]people are always
coming [C]up to me
And they say, "Mark, Mark,
[G]Mark" [F](Mark, [G]Mark, Mark)
"Mark, [C]are you kidding?"

[Verse 2]
Let me tell you this, [G]friends,
I am not [C]kidding
I mean, I am [G]portly and I [C]am ma[F]roon[C]
Well, [G]how many people tonight here [F]can
guess [G]what I [C]am?
Uh, not me (I can't guess
[G]what you [F]are)
Well, then I'll [G]give you some clues

[Verse 3]
[C]
And the first clue is, [G]I am p[F]ortly[G]
Is that [C]help?
Not much (no)
I don't know who you [G]are (I see)

[Verse 4]
Okay, I [G]got one
Clue number [C]two
I am double knit
[G]Does that help?
[C]No, not [G]much (what do [C]you
[Fm]mean[C]?)[G]

[Verse 5]
Well, then I've to give you one [G]more clue
I know this is gonna give [C]it away and I hate
like damn to tell you [G]what it is
But clue num[F]ber three[G][C]
Ich bin maroon
[G]Ah, [F]you're a so [G]fa[C]

[Verse 6]
[C]Way back a long [G]time ago
When the uni[F]verse consisted [G]of nothing [C]more elaborate
than Mark Volman (thank you, Frank)
[G]Trying to convince each and every member this
extremely [C]hip audience here tonight
That he was nothing more,
[G]nothing less
Than a fat [C]maroon [G]sofa
Sus[C]pended in the midst
of a great emptiness
A [G]light shined down [F]from [G]heaven
[C]

[Verse 7]
[G]And there he was,
ladies and gentle[F]men
[G]The good [C]Lord
And he took a,
he took a look at [G]the sofa
And he said [F]to himself,
[G]quite an attractive so[C]fa
This sofa could [G]be commercia (thank you, Frank,
how are [C]you Frank?)
With a few more margaritas and
the right company
[G]

[Verse 8]
[F]
[G]However, I di[C]gress
"What this sofa [G]needs",
said the big [C]G
"Is a bit of flooring underneath of it"
And [G]so, in order to make this
[C]Construction project possible
He [G]summoned the assistance
of the celestial core of engineers
[C]

[Verse 9]
[G]And, by means of a [F]cute [G]little song
in the German lan[C]guage
Which is the way he talks whenever
it's heavy [G]business[F]
[G]The good Lor[C]d went
something like this
[G]Take it away, Jim Pons

[Verse 10]
[C]
Gib zu [G]mir [C]et [G]was [C]fussbodenbelag
Unter [G]diesen [F]fet[G]ten fliessenden sofa
[C](everybody)
Gib zu [G]mir [F]et [G]was [C]fussbodenbelag
Unter [G]diesen [C]fetten fliessenden sofa

[Verse 11]
[C]And of course ladies and gentlemen,
[G]that means
Give unto me [F]a bit of floor[G]ing under
this [C]fat floating sofa
And sure [G]enough boards of oak appeared [F]throughout
[G]the emptiness as [C]far as vision permits
Stretching all [G]the way from
Belfast [F]to Bogn[G]er Regis[C]
And the Lord put aside his huge [G]cigar
And pro[C]ceeded to deliver unto
the [C]charm[G]ing maroonish sofa
The [G]bulk [C]of his message
With the assistance of a small [G]electric clarinet,
and it went something like this