got no beard chords and lyrics - THE LONGEST JOHNS

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[Verse 1]
[G]I o[C]nce met a man who said he was a fan
He wanted to sing in my shanty [G]band
But the [C]bottom of his face looked
weird (so weird!)
There was skin on his chin that I
loathed and feared
From his crown to ear he was
most sincere
But you can't sing shanties
if you got no beard
Got no [F]beard, you've [C]got no

[Verse 2]
beard
You [G]can't sing shanties if
you've got no [C]beard
[F]Got no beard, you've [C]got no beard
You [G]can't sing shanties
if you've got no [C]beard

[Verse 3]
I once met [C]a girl who heard sea songs
She came to the [G]show,
and she sang along
But the timing of the [C]shout
was slow (so slow!)
She was graced with a face
like the morning glow
But a hollar was a blow from the
very front row said
You can't sing shanties if you
can't shout "Ho!"
[F]Can't shout

[Verse 4]
"Ho!" you
[C]can't shout "Ho!"
You [G]can't sing shanties if you
can't shout [C]"Ho!"
[F]Can't shout "Ho!",
you [C]can't shout "Ho!"
You [G]can't sing shanties if you
[C]can't shout "Ho!"
And you've got no beard

[Verse 5]
I once met a [G]man on a [C]weird machine
Had wheels and a bell,
no mast to be [G]seen
He was shouting from a [B]pad of
[C]notes (nonotes!)
And the [G]wheels got caught
on his overcoat
And he fell from the pier
clawing at his throat
So you [C]can't sing shanties if
you don't own a boat
[F]Don't own

[Verse 6]
a boat, you [C]don't own a boat
You [G]can't sing shanties if you
[C]don't own a boat
[F]Don't own a boat,
you [C]don't own a boat!
You [G]can't sing [C]shanties if
you don't own a boat
And you can't shout "Ho!"

[Verse 7]
And you've got no beard
[C]I once met a bloke on a tavern floor
He'd had ten beers,
but I had ten more
And his piggy little face
was pink (so pink!)
He tried to shout the words,
but t'were all out of sync
With a voice so bad it'll
make you think that
You can't sing shanties if you
can't hold your [G]drink
[D]Can't hold your [C]drink, you can't hold

[Verse 8]
[C]
a drink
You [G]can't sing shanties if you
can't hold your [F]drink
You can't hold a drink you
[C]can't hold a drink
You [G]can't sing shanties if you
[C]can't hold your drink
And you don't own a boat
And you can't shout "Ho!"

[Verse 9]
And you've got no beard
[C]I o[G]nce met a s[C]ailor all big and broad
With an eye- patch,
parrot and a long curved sword
Had a chest like a powder
keg (big chest)
But he had both shoes,
and he smelled like eggs
I expect he would look better
with a wooden peg
'Cause you can't sing
shanties if you got two [G]legs
[F]Got two legs, you've [C]got two

[Verse 10]
legs
You [G]can't sing shanties if
you've got two legs
Got two [F]legs, you've [C]got two legs
You [G]can't sing shanties
if you've got two legs
And you [C]can't hold your [G]drink
And you don't own a [C]boat
And you [C#]can't shout "Ho!"
And you've got no [C]beard

[Verse 11]
Well, An[G]na's got no [C]beard
And Dave, he has a bike
Rob[D]bie's father- in- law [C]has boats,
but won't sing on the mic
And JD can't shout "Ho!" because
his wife takes much offense
[F]And Andy's got[C] two bea[G]utiful hairy legs
[C]But [G]there's no reason good
[C]enough not to join us
So [Em]sing [D]along with the very
last [G]chor[Fdim] us[G]
[C]Two, three,

[Verse 12]
[G]four
[F]Got no beard, you've [C]got no beard
You [G]can't sing shanties if
you've got no beard
[F]Got no beard, you've [C]got no beard
You [G]can't sing shanties if
you've got no [C#]beard
Got no [C]beard, you've got no beard
You [G]can't sing [Ab]shanties if
you've [C]got no [F]beard
[F#]Got no beard, you've g[C]ot no

[Verse 13]
beard
You [G]can't sing shanties
if you've got no [C]beard
And you've got two [D]legs
And you can't hold your [C#]drink
And you don't own a boat
And you [C]can't shout "Ho!"
And you've got [D]no [G]bea[C]rd[C]