Talking Houseboat chords and lyrics - OSCAR BRAND

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[Verse 1]
[G]Now just supposing
you got [C]cash to spare
and you [D]love to live,
but you don't know where.
You [G]want a house, but you [C]like to roam,
so you [D]look around [G]for a [D]seafaring home,
[G]with none of that dull permanence
that men [C]ab hor.
And lady, if your husband's [D]alcoholic,
this'll put him on the water [G]for good.
Now houseboats come in
a [C]lot of forms,
there's a [D]tiny kind that
can weather storms,
there's a [G]monstrous kind
with [C]its own front yard
that'll [D]heel right [G]over if
you breathe [D]too hard.
[G]You can only take her out
if the water's [C]like glass
And even then you gotta
[D]watch out [G]for cracks
But you sign the paper and
you board the boat
And pre[D]pare for livin' like
a king afloat
When you [G]suddenly
find you're [C]up the [G]creek
Cause a doggone cellar's gone
and sprung [D]a leak
An[G]d brother, when your cellar
gets flooded
[C]on a houseboat
You get a [D]sinkin' feeling in
the livin' [G]room
Of course, if that were all,
it wouldn't be [C]so bad
But your [D]heir to trouble's
job never had
There's [G]gnats, mosquitoes,
[C]bugs galore,[D]
[C]mildew [G]rot,
and a warping floor,
and your clothes will start
sprouting penicil[C]lin.
And the planking collapses
[D]when your kid pokes at it with a
[G]lollipop stick.
[D]And that [G]monster engine don't help a [C]lot,
cause it [D]roars and sparks,
but it makes one knot.
[G]You're not going elsewhere
to [C]enjoy the view,
lest [D]the tide and the [G]wind
are going that way, [D]too.
[G]Of course, maybe you can hire someone
to [C]tow you at a nominal fee,
but [D]a nominal leg is more [G]like it.
[D]So you'd bet[G]ter swallow
your [C]pilgrim's pride
by [D]an empty lot by the waterside.
Get a [G]trucker, Derek,
and [C]take her in tow.
[D]Drag her up on shore,
far [D]as she can [G]go.
Cause it takes a heap of livin'
[C]to make a boat a home.
But like [D]the tow boatman said,
say that sure [G]is a [C]heap of ship.[G][Em]
[G]