Titties and Beer chords and lyrics - FRANK ZAPPA

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[Verse 1]
[D]It[G][C][G][G]
was [D]the black[G]est night
There was no moon in sight
You know the stars ain't shinin'
'Cause the sky's too tight
I [C]heard [G]the scary wind
I seen some ugly trees
There was a werewolf honkin'
'Long the side of [G]me
I'm mean 'n I'm bad,
[C]why'know I ain't no sis[D]sy
Got a [G]big- titty girly by the
[C]name of Chris[D]sy
[G]Talkin' about her 'n my
bike [C]'n [D]me . . .
'N this [G]ride up the Mountain of [C]Mystery,
mys[D]tery
[C][D][C][G]

[Verse 2]
I [C]noticed [Dm]even the crickets
Were actin' weird up here
[C]'N so I figured [G]I might
[C]Just drink a little beer
I [C]said, [D]"Gimme summa that
[G]what yer suckin' [G]on . . . "
But [D]there was no reply
[G]'Cause she was [G]gone . . .

[Verse 3]
"Where's those titties I [C]like so [D]well,
[G]'n my goddamn beer!"
Is what I [C]started to [D]yell,
then I [G]heard this noise
Like a [C]crunchin' [D]twig,
'n [G]up jumped the Devil . . .
He's [C]about this [D]big . . .

[Verse 4]
He had [Dm]a red [G]suit on
An' a widow's peak
An' [G]then [D]a pointed tail
[G]'N like a sulphur reek
Yes, [C]it [D]was him [C]alright,
I sweared I knowed it was
He [C]had [D]some human flesh
[G]Stuck underneath his claws
Y'[C]know, it [D]looked to me
Like it was titty skin
[C]I said, "You [D]son of a bitch!"
[G]'Cause I was mad at him,
[C]Well he [D]just got out[Dm] his floss
'N started cleanin' his fang
[C]So [D]I shot him [C]with my shoot[G]er,
[C]Said: BANG BANG BANG
[D]Then the suck

[Verse 5]
[G]er just laughed
'n said:
Bozzio: Oh, put [G]it away . . .
You know, I ate her all up . . . now
what [G]you gonna [D]say?
[G]Frank: You ate my
Chrissy?
[G]Bozzio: Titties 'n [D]all!
[G]Frank: Well, what about the beer then,
boy?
Bozzio: Ah . . . Were the cans [D]this tall?
[G]Frank: Even her boots?
Bozzio: Would I lie [G]to you?
[D]Frank: Shit,
[G]you musta been hungry!
Bozzio: Yes, this is true.
Frank: Don't they pay you good
For the stuff that you [D]do?
Bozzio: Well, you [G]know
I can't complain when [C]the checks
[D]come through [G]. . .
Frank: Well I want my Chrissy,
'N I want my beer
[D]So [G]you just barf it back up
Now, Devil, [D]do you hear?
Bozzio: Blow [G]it out your ass,
mo[G]torcycle [D]man!
[G]I mean, I am the Devil,
Do you [C]un der[D]stand?
[G]Just what will you give me for your
Tit[C]ties and [D]beer?
[G]I suppose you noticed this
little con[G]tract [D]here . . .
[G]Frank: Yer goddam right, you
Son- [G]of- a- [D]whore
Bozzio: Don't call me that!
Frank: That's about [G]the only reas
on I learned [C]writin' [D]for . . .
[G]Gimme that paper . . . bet
yer ass [C]I w[D]ill sign . . .
Be[G]cause I need a beer,
'N it's [G]titty- squeez
[D]in' time!
Bozzio: Man, you [G]can't fool me
. . . you ain't [C]that [D]bad . . .
I [G]mean you shoulda seen some of the souls
[C]that I've [D]had . . .
Frank: Oh, yeah?
[G]Bozzio: Why there was Mil
hous Nixon 'n [D]Agnew, too . . .
'N both [G]of those suckers [G]was
worse 'n [D]you . . .
Frank: Well, let's [G]make a [D]deal
if you think that's true
[Dm]I mean[D],
you're [G]the Devil so . . .
Whatcha [G]gonna [D]do?
Bozzio: Wait [G]a minute . . . a tinge of doubt

[Verse 6]
crosses my mind when
[G]you [D]say that you [G]want to make a deal with me . . .
Frank: That's very,
very [D]true . . .
Bozzio: Wait . . . you ain't [G]supposed to want
to make a deal with me
Frank: Ah, but [D]I'm slightly different than your [G]av erage customer,
Devil . . .
Bozzio: But, wait . . . but most people don't [D]want
to make a deal with [G]me . . . Wha . . .
Frank: Yeah . . .
Bozzio: What's your story?
Frank: Well, most people are afraid of you, see? They don't know how stu[C]pid you [D]are . . . I happen
to know [G]that you jack off to a picture of [D]Punky Meadows when you get [G]home . . .
Bozzio: Grrarh . . . Stupid
[D]. . . Grrarh . . .
Frank: You know . . . ever since [G]that guy told you that he contained more fluid [D]than Jeff Beck you've been tryin' [G]to outdo [G]him . . . Awright, [D]look, I'm gonna say one [G]thing to you . . . this may not register right away, [D]but let me say [G]this . . . leave your pickle alone for a couple of night[C]s, you know [D]what I mean [G]. . . ? Now, come on! I'm only interested in a cou[D]ple of things . . . (Wait, is that a n[G]ote for me? Is somebody passing me a note? Wha[D]t does thi[G]s say . . . ? "Frank,
please do [D]me a favour, I can't find [G]a brother of mine, I could dig it if you could [D]call him from [G]stage. His name is Dirty [C]Tom [D]Nomads [G]M.C.," signed "Thanks, [G]Bear" [D]or "Bean," I c[G]an't tell . . . Well, if he's out [G]ther[D]e . . [G]. Dirty Tony De La Noma[D]ds M.C.[G] get in touch with Bean or Bear[D] . . .) And as I was sayi[G]n', Devil, I'm an average sort of a person,[D] I'm [G]. . . you wouldn't believe it, but [C]. . [D]. I'm very much like the peop[G]le here in this audience tonight . . .
Bozzio: What?
Frank: I think [C]we definitely [D]have
[G]something in common . . .
Bozzio: Wait a minute, I thought you [G]had funny [C]things [D]growing in your hair [G]an d all that
other stuff . . . I thought . . . write weird mu[C]sic, you [D]know, I thought . . .
Frank: Listen . . .
Bozzio: . . . biker and [G]everything, I mean,
shit, you know?
Frank: . . . listen care[D]fully
. . .
Bozzio: . . . big titty chic that you just [G]had out here with the camera,
I mean, you know . . .
Frank: Listen carefully to me,
oh, [C]Devil [D]. . .
[G]Terry: Uh- huh . . .
Frank: I'm only interested
in two [D]things
[G]Bozzio: Yeah . . .
Frank: See if you can
guess what [C]they are
Bozzio: I would [G]think . . . uh . . . let's see,
maybe . . . uh . . .
Frank: Well, I'll [G]give you . . .
Bozzio: Stravinsky
. . . and, uh . . .
Frank: I'll give you two
[G]clues . . .
Bozzio: . . . let's see . . . uh . . .
Frank: Let go [G]of your pickle
Bozzio: What?
Frank: Let go of your pickle!
Bozzio: I'm [G]not holding
my pickle
Frank: Well, who's
holding your pickle then?
Bozzio: I don't know . . . ha! She's out in the audience [C]. . . Hey, Dale,
[G]would you like to come up here and hold my pickle to satisfy this weird [C]man out [D]here [G]on the stage?
Frank: You're probably wondering [C]why we
call it a [G]pickle [C]. .[D] .[G]
Ray: Ha ha ha!
Bozzio: Oh, no . . .
Frank: I don't . . . I [C]hate [Dm]. . . I hate to sq[D]ueal on yo[G]u, Bozzio, I mean,
Devil . . . but, look, I'm only [D]interested in two [G]things . . .
Bozzio: Now, wait a minute . . . all I have to say [C]is God [G]help me! . . . Even
though I have this . . . this fucking [D]mask on . [G]. .
[C]Frank: Ha ha ha ha ha [D]. .[G] . ! Listen, if you think that mask l[C]ooks [D]bad,
[G]you oughta see his [C]pickle [D]. .[G] . I'm only interested in two things, that's titties and bee[G]r, you kno[D]w what I mean?
[G]Bozzio: What?
Frank: Yeah . . .
Bozzio: Titties and beer?
Frank: Titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer, titties [G]and beer,
titties and beer, titties and beer, titties [G]an d beer . . .
Bozzio: (Growling) Whoa, I don't know
if [G]you're the right guy!
Frank: . . . titties and beer, titties and [D]beer,
[G]tit[D]ties and beer . . .

[Verse 7]
[G]Bozzio: No! Don't sign it! Give
me time [D]to think . . .
I mean [G]. . .
Frank: Alright!
Bozzio: Hold on a second, boy . . .
'Cause that's Magic Ink!

[Verse 8]
Frank:And then [D]the Devil
[G]let go [C]of his pickle
[G]'N out jum[C]ped m'girl
They heard the titties PLOP- PLOPPIN'
All around the world, she [C]said:
[Dm]"I GOT ME THREE BEERS 'N[D]
A FIST FULLA DOWNS,
AN' [Dm]I'M GONNA GET RIPPED,
SO FUCK YOU CLOWNS!"
Then [Dm]she gave [G]us the fin[C]ger,
It was rigid 'n stiff,
[G]That's whe[C]n the[D] Devil, he far[G]ted
An' she went right over the cliff
[D][G]
[Dm](Whoa . . . Tinsel
[C]Tim[G]e!)
Well, the Devil [Dm]was mad
I took off to my pad
[Dm]I swear I do declare[G]!
How did she get back there?
[Dm]I swear I do declare[G]!
How did she get back there?
[Dm]I swear I do declare[G]!
How did she get back there?
[Dm]I swear I do d[D]eclare[G]!
How did she get back [Dm]there?
I [G]swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
[Dm]I sw[G]ear I do de . . .

[Verse 9]
[Dm]Alright, [G]Wel[D]l, [Dm]yeah,[G] that's enough of the Devil and [D]his famous pickle, w[Dm]e're [G]going to make another dramatic,
if... if, [C]somewhat... [G]rickety segue into another song called Cruising for Burgers, wait a minute...

[Outro 1]
[G][C][Dm][G][Dm][G][Dm]