Nut Sack Chords

Lyrics & chords

[Verse 1]
[Gm]But I love her.
She's a good woman.
[G]Through thick and thin.
I do things for her.
I thought it'd [C]be neat over
her birth[Gm]day
if I shaved a little heart
out of the hair above my pecker.
[G]
Well, let me tell you how
this happened.
I was in Wisconsin in a hotel
room
and it was snowing outside
and I was in the bathtub
all lathered up down there be
[G]cause it feels good.
[Gm]It feels good to me.
And I was [G]trying to make his heart with a
razor
and from this angle,
it looked more like a liver,
so I just shaved it all off.
And at this point,
I looked like a little kid with a big dick.
It was wrong.
And I gotta tell you,
if you think that thing is ugly with hair on it,
woo, you take the hair [F]off of it,
looks like a [G]sea creature
out of its shell down there.
I didn't know this,
but you got this,
guys have this fat
on both sides down there.
I was looking in the mirror going,
Oh, shit, I'm fat down there.
I got pussy lips. I got pussy lips.
I was trying to make a toupee
out of the hair I shaved
off.
I'm sorry, little fella.
Oh, my, I got home four days later,
I had forgotten what I had done.
I came out of the shower,
my wife walked in and went,
what the hell did you do?
I went, oh, shit.
I didn't know what to tell
her.
I was embarrassed.
Then she came over and she felt them.
She says, I like them.
They're smooth.
Then I [D]got cocky.
Oh [G]yeah? You like that?
Helicopter,
Helicopter, helicopter, helicopter.
You boys have all done the helicopter.
[F]Come out of a shower,
it's a little longer than normal.
[G]From the heat, whip off a towel,
you're looking in the mirror,
ain't nobody home.
Look at that big motherfucker.
Helicopter, helicopter,
helicopter,
helicopter.
helicopter
because when a man is alone
he's got the biggest dick on the planet
I ain't got a big dick you know why we
[F]do the helicopter [G]girls because we can
that's why what kind
of tricks can you do
what is this washing the window
what the fuck is this
I gotta ask you fellas have you ever
or tuck your pecker down
in between your legs
to see what you look like [D]with a puss.[G]
Look, I got a puss.
Sometimes I'll [Gm]sit in the bathtub,
look at my [G]puss
and get horny looking at my puss.
And the reason you're laughing
is because you've all
done it.
Now the problem with shaving your puss
is when it grows back,
when [F]you [G]shave whatever it is
you got down there,
when it grows back
it itches like crazy.
Sandpaper cannot cure this itch.
The only way to fix it is keep
shaving.
My wife told me after about three or four weeks,
if you're going to keep shaving
[F]your nuts
you might want [G]to just use Nair,
it doesn't grow back as fast.
Well, this is a shitty idea,
and I know because I did it.
From the advice of the
Almighty, my wife,
I was in our bedroom
sitting on the big fluffy chair
with my tennis shoes on
for some damn reason and nothing else,
and my wife was in the bed
reading a magazine,
facing me, giggling,
because I was putting air on my nut sack
with a cake spatula.
It does not come with an applicator.
I told her, I said, what are you laughing at?
If the kids walk in,
I'm in some serious shit here.
This is your idea,
[F]how long do I leave [G]it on there?
She said,
don't [D]leave it on there
no longer than ten minutes.
[G]Well, I'm thinking I'm a man,
my shit's a little more coarse.
I need a little extra treatment.
Well, this was bad idea number two.
This beat the shit out of bad
[D]idea number one.
[G]This is a chemical
that burns [C]the hair off your
[G]body.
Water hits hair, hair falls off,
goes down drain.
Water hits nuts, nuts fell off,
went down drain.
Holy shit, it burnt for three days
like a midget was following me
around with a tiki torch.
Get the fuck away from me!
And [F]when you do something
that damn stupid,
you can't tell your friends.
What'd you do? Nothing.
I'm just getting old.
Leave me alone, fucker.
You tell them you put an air on your nutsack,
you're gonna be drinking by yourself
for a long time.