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[Intro 1] [D][Bm][D] [Bm][D][Bm][D] [G][Bm] [Verse 1] All [Bm]the seats at the Sunday masses [D]Filled with the masses' massive asses Classes pass as fast as [D]molasses [G]Ceremonial rea[D]ding glasses Read a little bit of Levit[Bm]icus [D]All the kids are a little too little for this All the [D]parents nod in agree[D]ment I [G]think I can vaguely [D]see what He meant [Bm]It's too [G]early in the [Bm]morning, glory To [D]read another allegory story The father reads a little bit farther [D]Assuring[G] the assured that they need not [Bm]bother When God, in verse forty-five Said [D]Said that slaves are okay to buy [E]He meant that people [D]all from the start [G]Each have 'slaves' within their [D]hearts [Bm]Things that we have sold or bought That are [D]forced to pick our moral cotton God calls us to set these [D]free [G]Free our hearts from [D]slavery [Bm]And then as God goes on to explain The lo[D]gistics of buying and selling slaves [G]Uh, [D]he, the bible's sorta like uh, there's like, typos [Bm]In the back, I sit and I nod [D]To the beats that are bumping from my iPod My God they're starting [D]to pray [G]And over the music I can h[D]ear them s[Bm]ay Dear God, dear Lord, dear vague [D]muscular man with a beard or a sword Dear good all [Bm]seeing being [D]My way or the highway Yahweh [Bm]The blue b[D]alled anti-mas[Bm]turbator The [D]great all-loving faggot faggot hater I'd like to thank your holy might [G]For making me both rich and [D]white [Bm]And though this is your day of rest [D]I come to you with one request There's so much pain beyond [D]this steeple [G]Wars and drugs and [D]homeless people [Bm]Sadness where there should be joy [D]Hate and rape and Soulja Boy [E]A world i[D]n darkness needs your light So [G]I'm sure your schedule's pretty tight [Bm]But my dog just had surgery If you could fix that [D]first? [D][G] Jeses [D]De borah [Verse 2] Messing's fingers in a [Bm]holy place [D]Hail Mary full of Grace [D][G][D][Bm] Obama could you pass some hope to the Pope [D]I know a couple dudes who wanna elope See the church said nope so the bros can't [Bm]cope [G]The bros can grope but the [D]bros can't cope [Bm]They've been in love and they've been addicted [D]Who said they shouldn't, Benedict did 'Cause in the holy land of the Lord He's the holy landlord And dicks are evicted 'Cause you can be a Benedict [Bm]If you've been[D] a dick under Benedict But you [E]can't have [D]Benedicts Because [G]there's only one pope And [D]only one dick [Bm]What, yeah, a [D]dick on a [Bm]pope is [D]Just like a soap on a rope 'Cause it's pointless, un[D]less in prison Throw up your bibles, Christ has risen Hallelujah, now it's raining men [Bm]Because [D]the gender ratio is one [E]to ten [D]Winos at the Eucharist station, trans-[G]gendered-substantiation Jesus [D]Je [Bm]sus Jesus wasn't the Messiah Get [D]back I'm a heretic and I'm on fire It was [D]Oedipus those holy nights [G]The holy motherfucking christ [D]I'm a b[Bm]lasphemah Post-Katrina Cruis[D]ing the marina On a crusade to cruise aids And blast [G]FEMA You're too late, we're fucked we don't [D]need ya [Verse 3] Amen, in the name of the father, son and holy ghost Head, shoulders, knees and toes [G]Turn up your nose, [D]strike that pose [Outro 1] Hey Macarena
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