The Irony of It All Chords

Lyrics & chords

[Verse 1]
[C]Hel[D]lo,[C] Hello.
[Bm]My names Terry[D]
and I'm [E]a law abider
There's nothing I like more
[Bm]than getting fired up [D]on beer
And when [E]the weekends here I to exercise
my right [Bm]to get paralyti[D]c and fight
[E]Good bloke fairly
But I get [Bm]well leery when [D]geezers
look at me [E]funny
Bounce 'em round like bun[D]nies
[Bm]I'm likely to cause misc[D]hief
[E]Good clean grief you must
believe and I [Bm]ain't no thief.
[D]Law abiding and [E]all, all legal.
And who cares [Bm]about my liver
when it [D]feels good
[E]What you need is some real manhood.
[C]Ras[Bm]her Rasher [D]Barney and Kas[E]ha
putting peoples [D]backs [Bm]up.
Public [D]disorder,
I'll give [E]you public disorder.
I down [Bm]eight pints and run
all [D]over the place
[E]Spit in the face of an officer
See [Bm]if that bothers yo[D]u cause
I never [E]broke a law in my life
Someday [Bm]I'm gonna settle
down [D]with a wife
[E]Come on lads lets have
another [D]fight

[Verse 2]
Eh hello. My [C]names Tim and I'm a criminal,
In the eyes of society I need
to be in jail
For the choice of herbs I inhale.
This ain't no wholesale operation
Just a few eighths and some
Playstations my's vocation
I pose a threat to the nation
And down the station the police
hold no patients
Let's talk space and time
I like to get deep sometimes
and think about Einstein
And Carl Young And old Kung
Fu movies I like to see
Pass the hydrator please
Yeah I'm floating on thin air.
Going to Amsterdam in the New
Year - top gear there
'Cause I taker pride in my hobby
Home made bongs using my
engineering degree
Dear Leaders, please legalize
weed for these reasons.

[Verse 3]
Like I was saying to him. [Bm]I told
him: "Top [D]with me and
you won't [E]leave."
So I smacked him in the head
[Bm]and downed another Carling
[D]Bada Bada Bin[E]g for the lad's night.
Mad [Bm]fight, his [D]face's a sad sight.
[E]Vodka and Snake Bite.
Going [Bm]on like a right [D]geez,
he's [E]a twat,
Shouldn't have looked at me [D]like that.
[Bm]Anyway I'm an upst[D]anding citizen[E]
If a war came along I'd
be on the [Bm]front line with em.
[D]Can't stand cri[E]me either them
hooligans on [Bm]heroin.
Drugs [D]and criminals those t[E]hugs on the penny
colored will be the downfall of soci[Bm]ety
I've [D]got all the anger pent
[E]up inside of me.
[D]You know I don't

[Verse 4]
[C]see why
I should be the criminal
How can something with
no recorded fatalities be illegal
And how many deaths are there
per year from alcohol
I just completed Gran Tourismo on
the hardest setting
We pose no threat on my settee
Ooh the pizza's here will someone
let him in please
"We didn't order chicken,
Not a problem we'll pick it out
I doubt they meant to mess us about
After all we're all adults not louts."
As I was saying,
we're friendly peaceful people
We're not the ones out there
causing trouble.
We just sit in this hazy bubble
with our quarters
Discussing how beautiful Gail Porter is.
MTV, BBC Two, Channel Four is on
until six in the morning.
Then at six in the morning the sun
dawns and it's my bedtime.

[Verse 5]
Causing [Bm]trouble, your [D]stinking rabble
[E]Boys saying I'm the lad who's spoiling it
[Bm]You're on drug[D]s it really bugs[E] me
when people try and tell me I'm a thug
[Bm]Just for getting drunk[D]
I like [E]getting drunk
'Cause I'm an upstanding [Bm]citizen
If a war [D]came along I'd be
[E]on the front line with 'em.
[D]Now Terry

[Verse 6]
[C]you're repeating
yourself
But that's okay drunk people
can't help that.
A chemical reaction inside your brain causes
you to forget what you're saying.

[Verse 7]
[Bm]What. I know exactly [D]what
I'm saying
[E]I'm perfectly sane
You stink[Bm]ing s[D]tudent lameo
Go get a [E]job and stop
robbing us of our [F]taxes.

[Verse 8]
[C]Err, well actually according
to research
Government funding for further education
pales in insignificance
When compared to how much
they spend on [C]re pairing
Leery drunk people at the weekend
In casualty wards all over the land.

[Verse 9]
Why you [Bm]cheeky little swine
[D]come here
I'm gon[E]na batter you. Come here.