X-M@$ Chords

Lyrics & chords

[Verse 1]
[D]Ho ho [G]ho ho[D][A]
[D]Jesus

[Verse 2]
There ain't nothing more [G]depressing
than a [D]pine tree
Gussied up with candy
canes [A]and ball[D]s
Those carolers have kept me
up for hours
"It's Merry [Em]Christmas," [E]seeping
through [A]my walls
[D]Now, I'm no wiccan commie nut
[A]or nothing
[D]But there's one damn holiday
that I [G]can't [D]stand
It ain't Hal[G]loween, or Thanks[D]giving,
or even April [Bm]Fools
[G]But it'll surely make a [A]fool
out of [D]every [A]man
[D]If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas

[Verse 3]
[G]
You know where to stick
those [D]jingle bell[G]s[A]
[D]If I ain't hammered, it [A]ain't Hanukkah
And all you motherfuckers go [D]to hell[A]
[D]If I ain't cock-eyed,
it it [G]ain't Kwanzaa
Joy to the world of Jack [D]and Cokes[A]
[D]If I ain't drunk then it
[A]ain't Christmas
[G]'Cause I ain't ever anything
[D]but broke

[Verse 4]
[D]Now, every year the mall
[G]s are just [D]a madhouse
Full of empty pocket
[G]s, thought[D]s and smiles
Just [G]the smell of eggnog makes me [D]vomit
And those colored [E]lights
are fucking [A]in [G]fantile
[D]I think, we collecti[G]vely
[A]as a people[D]
Should rise against
this corporate jolly [G]noise
And tell the world,
"Let's buy [D]some peace and quiet for [Bm]a change
[G]Before we spend it all
[A]on fucking [D]toys"[G][A]
[D]So, if I ain't drunk then [G]it ain't Christmas

[Verse 5]
You know where to stick
those jingle [D]bell[A]s
[D]If I ain't hammered, it [A]ain't Hanukkah
[G]Fa-la-la-la-la, go go go[D]
go fuck [A]yourself
[D]If I ain't cock-eyed,
it [G]it ain't Kwanzaa
Joy to the world of getting [D]stone[A]d
[D]If I ain't drunk then it
[A]ain't Christmas
So leave [G]this goddamn
Scrooge the fuck [D]alone

[Verse 6]
Merry [D]Fucking Christmas
Hi, Simon