Beard Salesman chords and lyrics - MONTY PYTHON

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[Verse 1]
[Am]How much, quick?
What?
It's for the wife.
Oh, uh, 20 shekels.
Right.
What?
There you are.
Wait a minute.
What?
Well, we're supposed to haggle.
No, no, no, I've got to get...
What do you mean, no, no, no?
I haven't got time.
Well, give it back, then.
No, no, no, I just paid you.
But...
Yeah.
This bloke won't haggle.
Won't haggle?
All right.
Do we have to?
Now, look, I want 20 for that.
I just gave you 20.
Now, are you telling me
that's not worth 20 shekels?
No.
Look at it.
Feel the quality.
That's not here goat.
All right. I'll give you 19 then no
no no come on do it properly
What haggle properly this isn't worth
19?
You just said it was worth 20.
Oh dear.
Oh dear
Come on haggle all right.
I'll give you 10.
That's more like it 10
Are you trying to insult me me with a poor dying
grandmother 10 all right? I'll give you 11
No, you're getting it 11.
Did I hear you right 11 this cost me 12
you want to ruin me 17 no no no no
Seventeen.
Eighteen.
No, no, you get a fourteen now.
All right, I'll give you fourteen.
Fourteen?
Are you joking?
That's what you told me to say!
Oh, dear.
Oh, tell me what to say, please!
Offer me fourteen.
I'll give you fourteen.
He's offering me fourteen for this.
Fifteen.
Seventeen.
My last word. I won't take a
penny less or strike me dead.
Sixteen.
Done.
I'll still do business with him.
Brian is on the run from the
Romans, and to avoid capture,
pretends to be a lobster.
Uh, no, I'm sorry,
[Dm]that's my handwriting.
[Am]It should be preacher.
Oh, that's right.
Preacher.
Actually, I quite like lobster.
Brian is on the run from the
Romans, and to avoid lobster,
captures...
No, no, there's no lobster.
Instead of lobster...
Yes, no, that's my handwriting.
That's teach you, see, that's a
T.
Oh, under the lobster.
Just one more, I think.
Brian is on the run from the lobster,
and to avoid...
I'm sorry, I'm going to have
to stop you there.
Again?
He's actually on the run from the
Romans, you see.
That's clearly not lobster.
No, that isn't, no, I agree.
I grant you that looks a bit like lobster.
That one did, didn't it?
One more time, please.
And off you go.
Brian is on the run from the lobs...
from...
Sorry, can we [Dm]go again?
Yes.
[Am]Brian is on the run from
the
Romans and to avoid capture,
pretends to lob... to prevent...
Look, we'll just cut
this whole thing.
Lobster's getting rather intrusive,
isn't he?
We'll cut this.
This'll be an edit.