Naval medley (penis song) chords and lyrics - MONTY PYTHON

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[Intro 1]
[G][C][G][Bb][Bdim][G][F][A][D]
[G][C][F]

[Verse 1]
[C]Isn't it awfully nice to have a [F]penis?
An[G]d isn't it frightfully
good to have a [C]dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy
It's di[F]vine to [D]own a dick
From the tiniest [A]little [G]tadger
To the [C]world's biggest prick
So, three cheers for your
Willy or John [F]Thomas[Dm]
Hoo[G]ray for your one-
eyed trouser [C]snake
Your piece of pork,
your wife's best friend
Your [F]Percy, or your [D]cock
You can [G]wrap it up in ribbons
You can [C]slip it in your sock
But don't [Bb]take it out in [G]public
Or they will stick you [A]in the [D]dock
And you [G]won't [C]come [F]back[C][Dm]
[C]It's

[Verse 2]
[Bb]fun [Gm]to own your ow[Bb]n vagina
[G]It'[F]s great [Bb]to have y[G]our
friendly [C]thatch[F]
Your minge, your twat, your [C]kitty [F]cat
Your [Cm]nest, your [F]nasty or [Gm]your snatch
It's [Bb]great to [Gm]have a [F]monkey [Bb]fur [A]row
[G]You[F]r finger[D] pie,
your lunchbox or [G]your catch
[Bb]Your cameltoe, your [Bdim]bearded [Bm]clam
Your [F]bottom at the [D]front
your [G]monkey minge
Your muffin or your [C]old Sir Berkely Hunt
[Bb]Your honeypot, your [G]hairy friend
But never [A]call it [D]"cunt"
Or we [G]won't [C]come [F]back
[G][C][G][F][C]

[Verse 3]
[C]Isn't it awfully nice to own a [F]bottom
[G]Is n't it frightfully good to have an [C]arse
It's swell to own a tushy
It's di[F]vine to have [D]a scut
From [G]the skinniest little buttocks
To the [C]worlds largest butt
Three cheers for your posterior or [F]anus
Hoo[G]ray for your lovely sit- [C]upon
Your fundament, your fanny
Your [F]cheeky [Eb]little [D]dear
Your [G]rump, your hauch, your hams
Your stern, your [C]fanny or your rear
But be [Bb]careful how you [Bdim]handle
It or [G]you'll be [A]caught, i [D]fear
And you [G]won't [C]come [F]back

[Verse 4]
[F]Company, by the rightdress!

[Verse 5]
Squad camp it hUP!
My goodness me
I am in a bad temper today, all right
Two, three, damn, damn
Two, three, I'm vexed and ratty
Two, three, and hopping mad,
stamp, stamp
Oooh, get her, whoops
I've got your number, ducky
Well, you couldn't afford me, dear, two
Three i'll scratch your eyes out,
two, three
Meow! Two, three
Don't come the rear admiral with us, dear
We all know where you've been
You royal naval fairy, two, three
Left, right, left, right
Mother's kissing us tonight
Whoops, don't look now, girls
The captain's just minced in with
A dolly little seaman, two, three
O- o- o ooh, two, three hello,

[Outro 1]
sailor!
[Bb][Bdim][Dm][A][D][G][C][F]