No no no chords and lyrics - IVOR BIGGUN

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[Intro 1]
[Am][Em][F][Bb]
[G]
[C]At

[Verse 1]
[G]the appliance shop,
I bought a filthy book,
[C]Locked in the [G]lav,
I had a bloody good look.
There was a naked nude lady
and a [C]man dressed the [G]same,
Doing something very rude
with a funny foreign name.
I think it was called Fer[C]retilio,
[G]which is Spanish for blowing a bugle.
[F]I w[G]ent round to me girlfriend's house,
but she [C]said, [G]Oh, that's not very nice,
and I [F]don't want to [G]know.
So I tactfully said,
forget that [C]it's a [G]cock,
Pretend you're at the seaside,
and it's a [F]stick of [G]rock.
But she [Am]said, No, no, [C]no, [Am]no, [Em]that's flat.
[C]I c[Em]ould never,[F]
never do a filthy [Bb]thing like that.
[G]She [Abdim]said, No,[Am] no, no, [C]no, [Em]that's flat.
I could [F]never,
never do a filthy [Bb]thing like [G]that.[Abdim]
[Am]She said it was [Em]called Ferratilorain[F]io,
and was named [Bb]after an
Italian ra[G]cing [C]driver.
[G]Well, I filled her up with whiskey
and I filled her [C]up with [G]gin
but she still wouldn't do it
cos she said it [F]was a [G]sin.
I even had a bath,
but the [C]answer was the [G]same
she wouldn't do the thing
with the funny for[F]eign [G]name.
It was called something
like ferret in the [C]ruleo.[G]
I said it'd protect her from tonsillitis
but she wouldn't swallow that.
[Am]She said, no, [C]no, [Em]no, that's flat.
[C]I c[Em]ould never,[F]
never do a filthy [Bb]thing like that.
[G]She [Am]said, No, no, [C]no, [Am]no, [Em]that's flat.
[C]I could n[F]ever,
never do a filthy [Bb]thing like [G]that
Next day a man in a hat
came knocking [C]at the [G]door
He said, You've earned the pause,
half a million or more
With the cheque in me pocket
to me girl[C]friend's house
[G]I ran to see if she was still a v[C]egetarian
[G]I said, did she remember
what a silly [C]girl she'd been
[G]About [C]the [G]sword swallowing
in that funny magazine
I said, would she refuse me
and treat me [C]with dis[G]dain
Regard[C]ing [G]the activity
with the funny foreign knight
But she [Am]said, no, [C]no, no, [Em]no, that's flat
[C]I could n[F]ever refuse to do a t[Bb]hing like that
[G]She said, [Am]no, no, [C]no, [Em]no, t[C]hat's flat
I could [F]never refuse to do
a [Bb]thing like [G]that
Yum, yum, yum!
Ha ha ha!
Yum, yum, yum!
BELLS CHIMING PIANO [Bm]PLAYS
Mr Falleg[C]gio, the ice -cream [D]man.
[G]Hear him jingle [Bm]-jangle
[C]Mr.[D] Fe[G]l
[F]latio,
[Bm]all the children s[C]ay hello to [G]Mr. [Bb]Fel latio,
the [C]Ice [D]Cream [G]Man.
Badoom, badoom, badoom, bam!
That's where Trump's coming!
[Bm]And then he's got Ronettes,
[C]and Jordanaires,
[D]and Street Section,
and Phil[G]borough Colliery [Bm]Band!
Oh, it's going to be great!
[C]It's going to be wonderful!
Abso[D]lutely wonderful!
Can't wait, lads!
[G]Oh, it's going to be bloody great!