I can be the hot dog and you can Chords

Lyrics & chords

[Verse 1]
[G]I'm 37,[C]
[F]I'm still living wit[C]h me mum,
[G]I've no pals now, [C]my guinea pig's [G]dead,
[F]and my dad needs [C]my room
to grow mushroom[G]s,
so I suppose [C]that it's time [G]I was [F]wed.
[C]Now you don't sweat much [G]for a fat lass,
and I hear you've [F]a rich mum and dad,
[C]And in the dark,
with the light [G]right behind you,
you really [F]don't look quite [C]that bad.
[G]And that's why I wrote you
[Am]this [G]meaningful melody.
Okay lads, three chords in the key of A,
let's put some spunk into it.
I can be the hot dog
and you can be the bun.
I can be the ramrod
and you can be the gun.
I [C]can be the cistern
if you will pull my chain.
I [G]can be the dino -rod
if you will be the drain
I'll [D]even [G]be the daddy
and you [C]can be the mum
I [G]can be the suppository
and [C]you can be the bum
But I [G]can't understand
No, he [Bb]can't understand
No, [C]I can't understand
why women don't [G]like me
It's one of life's little mysteries
No, I can't understand
No, he [Bb]can't understand
No, I [C]can't understand
why women don't [G]like me
Oh, cruel fate!
I can be the Christmas fairy,
you can be the tinsel
I can be the athlete's foot
and you can be the plimsoll
[C]I can be the landlord's thumb
and you can be the drink
I [G]can be the plunger
and you can be the sink
I will [D]be the dentist
if [C]you will open wide
I [G]can be the vet's rubber glove
and you can be the cow's backside
But I can't understand
No, it [Bb]can't understand
Now I can[C]'t understand
why women don't [G]like
Dear Anna Raeburn,
what am I doing wrong?
Now I can't understand
No, he [Bb]can't understand
Now I can[C]'t understand
why women don't [G]like me
I've got the brew cream's browns
You can be the sandwich,
I can be the lemon curd
You can be the WC and I can be the turd
I [C]can be the rupture
and you can be the truss
You [G]can be the pimple
and I can be the [C]pus
You [D]can [G]be the [D]vomitbag
and [C]I can be the trim
[G]You can be the Y Front
and I can be the...
What's this word?
I can't understand!
No, he [Bb]can't understand!
No! [C]I can't understand
why women don't [G]like
I 've got the old teeth
and a motorbike inside
No! I can't understand!
No, he [Bb]can't understand!
No! I can[C]'t understand
why women don't [G]like me!
me, me, me...
I can be the finger,
and you can be the pie.
I can be the [C]poker,
and you can be the [G]stye.
I can be the writing,
if you will be the wall.
I can do the breaststroke,
if you will do the crawl.
You can [C]be the racing car,
[G]and I can be James Hunt.
I can be the [C]sailor,
and [G]you can be the...
What's this word?
Mr Biggin, the word is hunt.
Are you sure?
I can be the stone,
and you can be the kidney.
You can be the choir boy,
and [C]I can be m[G]y rather
strange Uncle [C]Sidney.
[G]But if your heart should chance
[F]resist my [C]subtlety and charm[G]s,
and my suave sophistication
[F]fails to bring [C]you to my arms,
[G]You'd be the wild and lovely girl
[F]I'd lost be[C]fore she'd grown
[G]And you will be a [C]memory,
[F]and I will be.[C]..
Probably [G]going down the pub
There's a darts match on [C]at the
Swan in Fulham [G]Broadway
Or I might go to the pictures
and see Clit Eastwood
Or Danish dentist on the job
Or I might go and stare
at the nurses playing tennis
Or I might go and get some Algerian
Scotch whisky from the off -licence
And get Kermode hugging drunk
Or I might go and stick me gong

[Outro 1]
through somebody's letterbox